What Level Are You?

Choosing Words That Inspire, Not Instruct

As leaders, every word we choose can either build bridges or create barriers. If you’ve been leading for any length of time, you know that people don’t just listen to what we say; they respond to how we make them feel. The true test of leadership is found in our ability to communicate with people—not at them.

This transformation doesn’t happen overnight. You must put in the effort to refine your communication skills continuously.

This reminds me of my childhood in Detroit. Looking back, those days were absolutely magical, especially in the summers. We rode bikes, played every sport imaginable, hung out until the streetlights came on, and enjoyed the time of our lives.

Then, something incredible happened: one of my friends received a birthday present that changed all of our lives—a Nintendo. We were captivated. We spent as much time as possible staring at that little TV screen, immersing ourselves in Nintendo games. We loved it, and we got better every day.

The first time we all realized there were different levels to some of the games, it felt as if we had just witnessed one of the greatest inventions of our time. We were captivated, and we kept playing for as long as my friend’s mom would allow. When we beat a level and moved on to the next, there were no words to explain how amazing that felt. And in our friend group, one person became the clear leader—he was the best, constantly figuring out how to beat levels and move forward. We all followed his lead.

Here at Speak with People, we believe in challenging leaders to use words thoughtfully and purposefully, to become what we call a “Level Three Leader.” This is a concept we’re developing to enhance everyday leadership communication skills. This kind of leader is intentional with their words, crafting a communication style that resonates with people and leaves a lasting, positive impact.

If you’re a leader ready to elevate your influence by learning to speak with people, not at them, this post is for you. Let’s explore the three levels of leadership communication and how striving for Level Three can make all the difference in your impact and legacy as a leader.

The Three Levels of Leadership Communication

As you read through these levels, consider which stage reflects your current approach. Remember, the goal is to continuously improve and challenge ourselves to lead more effectively.

Level One: Words Without a Plan or Purpose

At this level, leaders often communicate without much thought, planning, or intentionality. We’ve all been there. Much like the great Michael Scott from The Office, who famously said: “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” Words are chosen carelessly, resulting in conversations that may come across as controlling, directive, or even dismissive. It’s as if they’re speaking at people, rather than with them.

Level One leaders don’t yet understand the impact of their words. They might tell rather than ask, inform rather than engage, or even dump information without regard for how it’s received. The consequences are significant: people may feel unheard, undervalued, and unmotivated. The leader might be respected for their title, but not trusted for their words.

Common traits of Level One leaders include:

• Focusing on delivering information rather than inviting collaboration.
• Ignoring how their words land with others.
• Communicating based on their needs, not the needs of their team.

Part of Level One is tied to age, maturity, and emotional intelligence. Many simply haven’t reached the stage where they see using words in communication as a privilege, requiring responsibility and proactive effort.

Level Two: Recognizing the Power of Words and Planning for Impact

A Level Two leader understands that words have weight. They’ve learned from experience (and likely some mistakes) that their words can build up or tear down, inspire or discourage. Leaders at this level begin to craft their communication intentionally, recognizing the power of their words and taking steps to communicate thoughtfully.

Level Two leaders think about how to structure their conversations, emails, or presentations in ways that encourage openness. They are more aware of their tone, body language, and word choice. However, they mostly rely on their own instincts and perceptions, rarely seeking feedback from others. Their communication is more effective but could benefit from greater authenticity and engagement.

Traits of Level Two leaders include:

• Planning conversations with an understanding of the impact of words.
• Using intentional language to build trust.
• Communicating thoughtfully, but without yet seeking external feedback.

Level Three: Communicating with Purpose, Seeking Feedback, and Continuously Improving

The Level Three leader doesn’t just have a plan; they also invite critique, coaching, and growth. They understand that the best leaders are those who listen as well as speak, always refining their communication to make a positive impact.

Level Three leaders are thoughtful about their words and open to feedback. They not only craft messages with care but also ask trusted team members to weigh in on their communication style. They regularly seek input on how their words affect others and make adjustments based on feedback. In short, they’re committed to a lifelong journey of refining their communication and becoming better at connecting with people.

Key traits of a Level Three leader:

• Has a plan and is intentional with every word they choose.
• Regularly seeks feedback and coaching on their communication style.
• Makes changes based on feedback to strengthen relationships and trust.

Choosing Words Wisely: A Level Three Leader’s Toolbox

So, what level do you want to operate at? I know the answer seems obvious. As leaders, we want to reach Level Three, but it takes time, patience, and experience. Now that we’ve covered the three levels, let’s explore some practical strategies for being a Level Three leader who chooses words to empower, inspire, and connect.

1. Move from Telling to Asking

Level Three leaders know the value of asking questions rather than issuing statements. Instead of saying, “This is what we’re going to do,” try asking, “What do you think about this approach?” Asking questions brings people into the conversation and values their perspectives, creating a culture of collaboration rather than compliance.

2. Replace Informing with Engaging

A leader who merely informs may end up talking at people rather than with them. Instead of just relaying information, seek ways to make your communication engaging. This could mean encouraging open discussions, inviting feedback, or simply checking in with your team to see how they’re processing the information. Engaging with people makes them feel valued, heard, and respected.

3. Prioritize Empathy Over Efficiency

It’s easy to slip into a directive mode in the name of efficiency, but true leadership meets people where they are. Level Three leaders take the time to understand their team members' feelings, challenges, and goals, and they choose words with empathy in mind. Sometimes this means slowing down to have a one-on-one conversation or asking an extra question to understand where someone is coming from.

4. Eliminate Negative Communication Habits

All leaders fall into toxic communication habits occasionally, but Level Three leaders actively work to eliminate them. They recognize the damage caused by interrupting, being passive-aggressive, or dominating conversations. Instead, Level Three leaders practice positive habits like active listening, acknowledging others’ contributions, and staying present in each interaction.

5. Ask for Feedback and Embrace Coaching

One defining trait of a Level Three leader is the willingness to ask for feedback. After a meeting or conversation, don’t hesitate to ask a trusted colleague or team member how your words came across. Are there areas where you could have communicated more clearly or inclusively? Be open to critique, recognizing it as a tool for growth. Many Level Three leaders consider hiring a coach to help them refine their skills.

6. Communicate with the Big Picture in Mind

Level Three leaders understand that each interaction contributes to a bigger picture. They choose words that align with their values and the culture they want to cultivate. Instead of focusing solely on short-term goals, they consider how their words contribute to long-term trust and rapport with their team.

7. Spend time with resources that will help you grow

At Speak with People, we’re here to help and we’re obsessed with helping you succeed in your communication as a leader. That’s why we’re committed to producing the very best content and resources we can to help you be a level three leader in your communication. Make sure you check these resources out:

• The Speak with People blog is a resource for leaders to develop impactful communication skills that build trust, inspire collaboration, and elevate influence.
• The Speak with People podcast helps leaders improve their communication skills to foster stronger relationships, boost team morale, and enhance their leadership impact.

By spending time each week reading and listening to these resources, we know you will be inspired to transform your communication skills! 

Becoming a Level Three Leader: It’s a Journey, Not a Destination

If you’re ready to strive for Level Three leadership, remember it’s a process. There will be days when you feel you’ve mastered it and others when you realize there’s still much to learn. The key is to stay committed to growth, remain open to feedback, and choose words that reflect empathy, respect, and intentionality.

So, what’s your next step? If you’re currently operating at Level One or Level Two, identify one or two areas to improve. Maybe you start by planning conversations with more thought, or perhaps you ask for feedback after your next big meeting. Small changes add up, and each improvement brings you closer to being the kind of leader who speaks with people, not at them.

Leadership is not about perfection; it’s about progress. Every intentional word you choose, every time you invite feedback, and every effort you make to connect with others will strengthen your impact and relationships. As you pursue intentional, compassionate communication, you’ll see your leadership elevate from transactional to transformational. That’s the true mark of a leader who leads with people.

By Jason Raitz - CEO, Speak with People 

With over 25 years of experience, Jason has spoken from stages across the country, inspiring and motivating his audiences with stories, laughter, and practical tools to succeed. Book Jason for your next conference or workshop.