The Art of Truly Hearing Others

Stop, Collaborate, and Listen: The Art of Truly Hearing Others

Is it hard for you to listen? Really, think about it. Do you take the time to slow down, remove all distractions, and truly hear what someone is saying? If your answer is “no,” don’t worry—you’re not alone. Most of us have struggled with this at some point.

But here’s the truth: if you want to elevate your communication game, becoming a great listener isn’t optional. It’s a necessity. Listening isn’t just about hearing words; it’s about understanding, empathizing, and building trust. In fact, listening is arguably the most powerful tool in a communicator’s arsenal.

If you’re ready to become the Michael Phelps of listening—gold medal status—let’s dive into why listening matters, how it can transform your relationships, and practical ways to become a listening pro.

Listening: The Unsung Hero of Communication

When we think about improving our communication skills, we often focus on speaking, presenting, or even posting online. And while those are important, they’re only half of the equation.

Listening is the other half—and it’s often overlooked.

Think about it: how many times have you left a conversation feeling truly heard? The kind of interaction where the other person was fully present, engaged, and hanging on to your every word?

Those moments are rare, but they’re incredibly powerful.

Great listening builds trust. It tells the other person, You matter. Your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are important to me. And trust is the foundation of every healthy relationship—whether it’s with your team, your family, or your friends.

In fact, one of the most common compliments I hear about leaders who prioritize communication is, “They really heard me when I spoke.” Imagine if that’s how people described you.

My Wake-Up Call: A Lesson in Listening

Let me share a personal story. My wife and I have five kids, ranging from ages 8 to 22. Over the years, one of the core values we’ve tried to instill in them is the importance of healthy communication. We’ve taught them to look people in the eye, give their full attention, and listen when someone is speaking.

But as a dad, I’ve had my own share of lessons along the way.

When my teenage daughter was just four years old, she loved playing Barbies. It was her favorite thing, and I loved spending time with her. Sometimes, though, my phone would buzz with emails, texts, or calls while we were playing. I’d do my best to resist the temptation to look, but I didn’t always succeed.

One afternoon, as we were deep in Barbie-world, my phone went off. I tried to sneak a glance, and before I knew it, I was distracted—half-listening and half-nodding. “Uh-huh. Oh really? Yes.” I wasn’t fooling anyone.

My daughter stopped mid-conversation, took the phone out of my hand, and placed her tiny hands on either side of my face. She leaned in as close as she could and said, “Daddy, it’s rude to not look someone in the eyes and give them your attention when they’re talking to you.”

Ouch.

That moment stuck with me. It was a powerful reminder that listening isn’t just a skill—it’s a choice. And it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give to someone else.

Why Listening Matters

Listening isn’t just polite; it’s transformative. When you listen well, you:

• Build Trust: People feel valued when they know you’re paying attention.
• Strengthen Relationships: Listening creates deeper connections, whether at work or home.
• Gain Insights: When you truly listen, you learn more—about others, about the situation, and even about yourself.
• Foster Collaboration: Great listening paves the way for better teamwork and problem-solving.

But here’s the thing: listening isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s not just about hearing words; it’s about understanding the meaning behind them.

4 Habits to Master the Art of Listening

If you’re ready to take your listening skills to the next level, here are four habits to practice:

Habit #1: Put Away Your Devices

Our devices are one of the biggest barriers to listening. Whether it’s your phone, laptop, or tablet, these distractions pull your attention away from the person in front of you.

When you’re in a conversation, put your devices out of reach. Turn off notifications. Show the other person that they have your undivided attention.

Pro Tip: If you’re in a meeting or a one-on-one, let the other person know you’re silencing your phone because their words matter. It’s a small gesture that speaks volumes.

Habit #2: Face the Person You’re Talking To

Body language plays a huge role in communication. When you’re sitting face-to-face with someone, it shows that you’re fully engaged.

If possible, position yourself to make eye contact. Lean in slightly. Your posture signals whether you’re truly present or just going through the motions.

Pro Tip: If you’re in a group setting, shift your body slightly toward the speaker. It sends a subtle message: I’m listening to you.

Habit #3: Ask Great Questions

Listening isn’t just about being quiet; it’s about being curious. Great listeners ask great questions.

Before a conversation, think about what you’d like to learn or understand. During the conversation, ask follow-up questions to show you’re engaged.

For example:

• “Can you tell me more about that?”
• “What led you to that decision?”
• “How did that make you feel?”

Pro Tip: Avoid jumping in with solutions or advice too quickly. Sometimes, people just need to be heard.

Habit #4: Resist the Temptation to Interrupt

This one’s tough—especially if you’re excited or think you know what the other person is going to say. But interrupting can derail the conversation and make the other person feel unheard.

Practice patience. Let the other person finish their thought before you respond.

Pro Tip: If you catch yourself interrupting, apologize and redirect the focus back to them. For example: “Sorry to jump in—I’m really interested in what you were saying. Please continue.”

Listening Is a Superpower

Here’s the good news: listening is a skill, which means it can be learned and improved with practice. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being intentional.

So, the next time you’re in a conversation, remember:

• Put away the distractions.
• Be fully present.
• Ask thoughtful questions.
• Resist the urge to interrupt.

When you do, you’ll not only become a better listener—you’ll also become a better leader, friend, spouse, or parent.

Let’s Elevate Our Listening

Imagine a world where everyone felt truly heard. Where leaders listened to their teams. Where parents listened to their kids. Where conversations weren’t just about exchanging words but about building trust and connection.

It starts with us.

So, let’s stop, collaborate, and listen. Let’s commit to being the kind of people who show up fully, who value the voices of others, and who understand that listening is one of the greatest acts of love and respect we can offer.

The next time someone speaks to you, take a deep breath, put down your phone, and lean in. You might be surprised by what you hear.

By Jason Raitz - CEO, Speak with People  With over 25 years of experience, Jason has spoken from stages across the country, inspiring and motivating his audiences with stories, laughter, and practical tools to succeed. Book Jason for your next conference or workshop.