Shift This ONE Thing to 10x Your Influence

Want to Lead Better? Speak Less. Listen More.

You don’t need a louder voice to lead more effectively. You need better ears.

That might sound simple. Maybe even obvious. But let’s be honest, most leaders struggle with it. We’re trained to be decisive, assertive, and solution-oriented. We get rewarded for quick thinking, confident speech, and strong opinions. But while those things can be valuable, they aren’t what make you a great communicator.

In fact, sometimes, they get in the way.

Because real leadership, lasting leadership, isn’t about who speaks first, longest, or loudest. It’s about who knows when to pause, lean in, and listen like it actually matters…because it does.

The Hard Truth Most Leaders Miss

Let’s call it like it is. Too many of us spend our conversations planning what we’ll say next instead of actually listening to what’s being said right now.

We talk. Then we talk more. Then we interrupt. Then we summarize what someone said into a tidy little version of what we wish they said. And then we wonder why our teams feel disengaged, confused, or disconnected.

If you want to build trust, foster clarity, and become the kind of leader people want to follow—not because they have to, but because they want to, then listening isn’t optional.

It’s your secret weapon.

And this week, I want to challenge you to make one simple, powerful shift that could transform your leadership communication.

Communication Tip: Flip the Ratio

Listen 80%, Speak 20%.

Yes, really.

Most of us reverse this without even realizing it. We dominate meetings. We fill silences. We assume we already know what others are going to say. We say, “I hear you,” when we’re really just waiting for them to stop talking so we can get back to our point.

But when you intentionally flip the ratiowhen you listen 80% and speak just 20%, something incredible happens.

You create space. You invite collaboration. You earn trust. You hear not just what’s said, but what’s meant.

You become the kind of communicator people feel safe around, the kind that doesn’t just lead at people, but leads with them.

Why This Works

Think about the last time you felt truly listened to. I mean, fully seen and heard. No interruptions. No “yeah, but…” No eyeing the clock. Just presence, patience, and curiosity.

What did that do for you?

Chances are, it made you feel valued. Respected. Understood. Maybe even inspired.

That’s the power of intentional listening. It communicates something far louder than your words ever could:

You matter. What you’re saying matters. I’m here, and I’m with you.

And that kind of listening? It multiplies influence like nothing else.

But Wait, What About Confidence?

Here’s where some leaders get tripped up. They equate talking with confidence. And sure, speaking clearly and assertively has its place. But over-talking? Over-explaining? Over-powering?

That’s not confidence. That’s control.

Great communicators don’t dominate, they draw people in. They ask great questions. They leave room for others to speak. They know that sometimes the strongest voice in the room is the one that’s silent just long enough to hear something no one else did.

Peter Drucker said it best:

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.”

You can’t do that if you’re always filling the air.

Practical Next Steps: 3 Listening Habits to Try This Week

Ready to flip the ratio? Here are three small-but-mighty actions to put this into practice immediately:

1. Pause for 3–5 seconds before responding.

It will feel awkward at first. That’s okay. Let the silence sit. It shows you’re thinking. It gives the other person space to finish or clarify. It shows respect—and it helps you respond with intention, not reaction.

2. Ask one more question before offering advice.

When someone shares a challenge, don’t jump straight to solving it. Instead, ask something like:
“Can you help me understand more about that?” or
“What do you think would help most right now?”
You’ll often find that what they needed wasn’t a fix—it was a chance to be fully heard.

3. Journal a post-meeting reflection.

After your next one-on-one or team meeting, jot down:

• What did I hear?
  
  
• What wasn’t said that may be important?
  
  
• Did I listen more than I spoke?
  
  

Even two minutes of reflection can drastically improve your self-awareness, and your leadership.

What Happens When You Listen More

This isn’t just about being polite. It’s about creating transformation.

When leaders choose to listen:

• Trust grows. People open up. Walls come down. Honesty flows more freely.
  
  
• Problems surface faster. When people feel safe to share, you hear the real story sooner, not after it’s too late.
  
  
• Collaboration deepens. People stop holding back. They start contributing. Energy rises. Solutions emerge.
  
  
• Your influence multiplies. People follow leaders who hear them, not just those who command attention.
  
  

And here’s the best part: This works in every space. In your office. At home. With your team. With your spouse. With your kids. With strangers. With your most difficult clients. Even with yourself.

Because when you stop talking at the world and start listening to it, you unlock something profound:

Connection.

One Final Challenge

This week, practice being the last to speak and the first to understand.

Let the room talk first. Let others wrestle ideas aloud. Resist the urge to jump in with the “right answer.” Just listen. And when it’s finally your turn? Say less, and say it with purpose.

You don’t need to speak more to be more effective. You need to listen better to lead better.

That’s how trust is built. That’s how leaders grow. That’s how communication actually changes lives.

Speak Less. Connect More.

Communication is a two-way street. Always has been. But for far too long, we’ve treated it like a one-way megaphone, where we broadcast, command, convince, and move on.

That’s not leadership. That’s just noise.

If you want to cut through the noise, flip the ratio. Let curiosity lead. Let empathy rise. Let silence speak. Because when you stop filling the air and start holding the space, everything changes.

So here’s your challenge: 

Flip the ratio. Listen 80%. Speak 20%. And watch what happens next.

Your voice doesn’t need to get louder. Your ears just need to get better.