FOMO, FIWGT, and the Power of Perspective

 Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) has become a common buzzword in the age of social media, where we’re constantly exposed to the highlights of other people’s lives. We see vacations, celebrations, promotions, and milestones—all while sitting in our own realities, sometimes wondering why we’re not experiencing the same.

But for me, it’s not just FOMO that creeps in. It’s something I call FIWGT: Fear I Won’t Get There.

What Is FIWGT?

We all know FOMO—the anxious feeling that we’re missing out on something exciting or important. But FIWGT? That’s the fear of never achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself, of never arriving at the place you’ve dreamed of reaching. It’s seeing someone living out the very life you’re working so hard to build and wondering, Will I ever get there?

As someone building a business, growing a speaking career, and helping other leaders do the same, I’ve come to realize that FIWGT is a challenge unique to those of us in the trenches of growth. In this season of life, every connection matters. Every referral matters. Every opportunity matters. The steady, predictable income that comes with a salaried position isn’t there. Success requires relentless effort—events must be booked, relationships nurtured, and goals chased.

It’s fulfilling work, but it’s not without its moments of doubt.

When FIWGT Hit Me Hard

Last fall, I had a series of bookings that were incredibly exciting. I crisscrossed the country, speaking to audiences of all different backgrounds. It was fantastic.

Then, it happened.

FIWGT hit me—and it hit me hard. I was sitting in my Seattle hotel room late one night, struggling with jet lag. Exhausted but restless, I made the mistake of hopping online. Big mistake.

Why? Because when I’m tired, I’m most susceptible to FIWGT.

The first LinkedIn profile that popped up was a veteran speaker I deeply admire. They weren’t just speaking at an event—they were being interviewed on a local news station. I was genuinely happy for them, but deep down, I wondered, Why haven’t I ever been asked to do that?

Then, the very next profile belonged to another speaker who had just landed a giant keynote. And just like that, FIWGT consumed me.

The logical part of my brain knew this was unproductive. But the emotional side? It was spiraling into comparison, self-doubt, and frustration.

The Social Media Trap

Where does FIWGT hit the hardest? For me, it’s during those late-night moments when I find myself scrolling through social media—a habit I actively try to avoid.

Social media is a highlight reel of everyone else’s success. I’ll see another speaker booked for an event I dream of speaking at, a colleague launching a book I’ve yet to finish writing, or someone celebrating a milestone I’m still striving to reach.

Ever been there? You see someone living out your dream, and suddenly, the self-doubt sets in. Thoughts like, Why aren’t I further along? or What am I doing wrong? creep in, and before you know it, you’re stuck in a spiral of comparison and frustration.

It’s a tough cycle, one that I know I’m not alone in facing.

The Cost of Comparison

Comparison is a thief. It steals the joy of the present moment and robs us of the energy we need to make progress. Instead of focusing on our own unique journeys, we get caught up in measuring ourselves against someone else’s timeline or achievements.

But here’s what I’ve learned: Our journeys are not meant to be identical.

Everyone’s path to success is different. Some people may hit milestones earlier, while others might achieve their goals later—but that doesn’t mean one journey is better or more valid than another. Progress, no matter how small, is still progress. And what truly matters is staying committed to your own path.

A Shift in Mindset

So how do we combat FIWGT and the inevitable feelings of FOMO? The key lies in shifting our mindset.

When those feelings of doubt or envy start creeping in, I’ve found it helpful to intentionally replace them with joy—joy for the person I’m tempted to compare myself to. Instead of focusing on what I haven’t achieved, I choose to celebrate what they’ve accomplished.

Why? Because celebrating others’ success shifts our perspective from scarcity to abundance. It reminds us that someone else’s victory doesn’t diminish our potential for success. There’s enough opportunity, growth, and achievement to go around.

Here’s a practical example: When I see a fellow speaker booked for an event I’d love to be part of, I take a moment to genuinely appreciate their accomplishment. I remind myself that they’ve worked hard for it, just as I’m working hard for my own opportunities. This mindset shift not only frees me from envy but also fuels my motivation to keep moving forward.

Strategies to Combat FIWGT

If you’ve ever experienced FIWGT or FOMO, you’re not alone—but there are steps you can take to overcome these feelings. Here are a few strategies that have helped me:

1. Focus on Your Progress

Take a moment to reflect on how far you’ve come. Write down your recent wins, no matter how small they seem. Seeing your progress laid out can remind you that you’re moving in the right direction.

2. Limit Social Media Scrolling

Social media can be a great tool, but it can also be a breeding ground for comparison. Set boundaries for when and how you use it—especially at night when you’re more susceptible to self-doubt.

3. Celebrate Others

Make it a habit to celebrate the achievements of others. Write a congratulatory comment or send a kind message to someone who’s accomplished something you admire. This simple act can shift your mindset and build positive connections.

4. Set Small, Achievable Goals

Break your big dreams into smaller, actionable steps. Achieving these smaller milestones can help you stay motivated and confident in your progress.

5. Surround Yourself with Encouragement

Build a network of supportive people who can remind you of your value and progress. Having mentors, friends, or colleagues who believe in you can make a world of difference.

Why Your Journey Matters

At the end of the day, your journey is uniquely yours. No one else can replicate it, and no one else can determine its value. The time, effort, and heart you pour into your work are laying the foundation for something meaningful—something worth celebrating.

That night in Seattle, as I sat in my hotel room feeling the weight of FIWGT, I had a choice: let it crush me, or let it fuel me. I chose to use it as motivation. Instead of focusing on what I lacked, I refocused on what I had built. I reminded myself that my journey was still unfolding—and that every step mattered.

And so does yours.

Turning FIWGT Into Fuel

Rather than letting FIWGT hold you back, use it as fuel to keep moving forward. Recognize that the fear you feel is often a sign of how much you care about your goals. Let that passion drive you to take action, to connect with others, and to keep building the life and career you envision.

And remember, when FOMO or FIWGT creeps in, pause. Replace fear with gratitude. Replace comparison with joy. Celebrate not only the successes of others but also the unique progress you’re making in your own life.

Conclusion

We’ve all experienced moments of doubt and comparison, but we don’t have to let them define our journeys. By shifting our mindset, focusing on our progress, and celebrating others, we can overcome the fear of not getting there and embrace the beauty of the process.

Let’s keep building, dreaming, and moving forward—one step at a time.

By Jason Raitz - CEO, Speak with People  With over 25 years of experience, Jason has spoken from stages across the country, inspiring and motivating his audiences with stories, laughter, and practical tools to succeed. Book Jason for your next conference or workshop.