Communicating Appreciation

DO I EVEN MATTER?

In my early communication career, I was a videographer. From feature length films and short promotional videos to live conferences and weddings, I had a variety of opportunities to communicate stories that captured the heart of different organizations as well as individuals.

One project in particular comes to mind. I worked with many talented individuals and poured a lot of time and energy into it. I was not a part of finishing this particular project so I didn’t see the final product until it was released. When I watched the finished version for the first time, I was so excited!

Images flashed across the screen; music swelled. I was so proud of the work we had accomplished.

The credits at the end scrolled. I leaned in, intently searching. Then the screen went black.

My face fell. Somehow, my name was missing.

They forgot me.

At this point, they couldn’t do anything to fix the mistake and I felt crushed.

Have you ever been there? Do you ever feel like who you are and what you do goes unacknowledged?

There’s something about how the human brain is wired where we naturally crave to be recognized and celebrated.

We may have different motivations: many of us want to feel safe and secure, we need to feel loved and wanted, or we long to be successful, have what it takes, and live purposeful lives. Yet, all of these motivations boil down to one thing: that each of us matters.

You matter.

I matter.

We all want to be important. Whether that’s feeling important by being successful and working your way up the corporate ladder or feeling important among your friends and family or feeling important by making a difference in the community or simply being important enough to have your basic needs met - whatever it is for each of us, we all need to feel valued.

CULTURE CHANGE STARTS WITH YOU

There have been many times when I’ve felt unseen, overlooked, and underappreciated by people in leadership. Whether volunteering my time for a non-profit organization, helping at my son’s school, or going above and beyond for a coworker, I have walked away without anyone recognizing the sacrifice and contribution I made.

On the flip side, I have also received notes of appreciation that have been very impactful to me. I have received little gifts - a rock with a meaningful word written on it, a drink coaster that looked like a steak, an avocado hand towel - that made me feel seen and valued. The leaders who have invested the time and energy in making me feel appreciated by these small, thoughtful (and sometimes silly) gestures, are the leaders that I most want to work with. I am much more motivated to work hard and go above and beyond for this type of leader.

These experiences have taught me how important it is to use our words to make other people feel seen and valued. I want to be that type of leader.

It’s imperative as leaders, we take the initiative to cultivate a culture of appreciation on our team.

Communicating appreciation increases individual’s motivation and strengthens teams. In our me-centered world, we need to look outside of ourselves, recognize the people around us, and celebrate and honor them in an appropriate way.

If you don’t think people on your team deserve to be shown appreciation because of their lack of talent, responsibility or ambition, then it’s your job as a leader to either train them or replace them.

Ultimately, though some people may seem easier to appreciate than others, I believe all people carry intrinsic value that can be celebrated. One person comes to mind who I found frustrating to work with because of her lack of quality work and follow through. I chose to send her an encouraging message, acknowledging one helpful thing she did for me so that she could feel affirmed and valued.

You can always find one win, even if it’s small.

How will you intentionally celebrate your team, who they are and what they do?

Find that win, no matter how big or small, and do something about it! Jump at any success to communicate your appreciation to your team. Write them a meaningful note and be specific. Bring in cupcakes or treat your team to lunch when a big project is finished. For a fun, light-hearted gift, hand out gold stars or little confetti poppers.

As you communicate your appreciation, it will become contagious and you’ll see a shift in your team culture.

Don’t forget about any individuals on your team. Don’t metaphorically leave anyone out of the credits. They all matter.

By Caitlyn Neel - Cofounder, Speak with People

Caitlyn is a certified life coach, author, and speaker. In her free time, she enjoys running, playing the guitar, and spending time with her family.