It's Time to Improve

Anyone Can Change and Improve: A Story of Growth and Communication

Have you ever believed the lie that you have to stay the same? That the way you’ve always done things is the way you always will? If so, let me share a story that might challenge that belief and inspire you to embrace the power of change.

Earlier this year, I had the privilege of leading a leadership communication training for Flagstar Bank in New Jersey. As usual, the room was filled with leaders of all ages and backgrounds, each bringing their unique experiences and perspectives. But one interaction during a break left a lasting impression on me—and on one of the attendees.

A 62-year-old leader approached me, and the first thing he said was, “You seem great, but I don’t want to be here. I communicate just fine and have been doing it the way I want for all of my life.”

It’s not uncommon to encounter resistance during these sessions. After all, change is hard, and being told you can improve something as fundamental as communication can feel personal. I smiled and replied that I understood. As a speaker, you can sense when someone isn’t fully onboard. But I could tell there was more he wanted to say.

Then he admitted, “Something you said is bugging me.”

The Wake-Up Call

During the training, I had shared research-backed insights about how improving communication skills can positively impact a leader’s career. Leaders who actively work on their communication not only build stronger relationships but also earn more, get promoted faster, and significantly expand their influence. I could see that this information had struck a chord with him.

He went on to share something deeply personal: “My wife has been telling me for 30 years that I’m not a good listener, and I’ve always ignored her.” He paused, then added, “But now I’m wondering…what if my clients think the same thing? What have I lost for my business?”

His honesty was refreshing, and his realization was profound. It’s one thing to recognize how your communication habits affect your personal life. It’s another to consider the impact they may have on your professional success. Under my breath, I thought, And what have you lost in your marriage?

A Moment of Decision

By the end of our conversation, he had made a decision: he was going to commit to making changes. It was a powerful moment, not just for him but for everyone who has ever felt stuck in their ways. His story reminds us that it’s never too late to grow, to improve, and to build deeper connections with those around us.

The Cost of Staying the Same

Why is it so hard to change? For many of us, it’s easier to stick with what we know. Change requires effort, vulnerability, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about ourselves. But the cost of staying the same can be far greater than the effort it takes to improve.

In the case of the leader I met, his communication habits weren’t just a personal issue; they had likely affected his career, his relationships with clients, and his ability to lead effectively. And while he couldn’t change the past, he realized he could take steps to improve his future.

Why Communication Matters

Communication is at the heart of every relationship, whether personal or professional. It’s how we build trust, solve problems, and create meaningful connections. Yet, many of us underestimate its importance or assume we’re already good at it.

Here are a few reasons why communication skills are worth investing in:

1. Trust Building: People are more likely to trust and respect leaders who listen and communicate clearly.
2. Career Advancement: Strong communicators often stand out in their organizations and are more likely to be promoted.
3. Client Retention: In business, good communication can mean the difference between retaining a loyal client and losing them to a competitor.
4. Personal Relationships: Effective communication strengthens connections with family and friends, fostering deeper understanding and empathy.

Steps to Improve Your Communication

If you’re ready to grow, here are some actionable steps to enhance your communication skills:

1. Listen More Than You Speak

Great communication starts with listening. Practice active listening by giving your full attention, making eye contact, and responding thoughtfully. Resist the urge to interrupt or jump in with solutions.

2. Ask Insightful Questions

Move beyond surface-level questions and show genuine curiosity. Ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share more, such as:

• Can you tell me more about that?
• What led you to that decision?
• How did that make you feel?

3. Be Present

In today’s digital age, distractions are everywhere. Commit to being fully present in your conversations by putting away devices and focusing on the person in front of you.

4. Seek Feedback

Sometimes, we’re unaware of how we come across to others. Ask trusted colleagues, friends, or family members for honest feedback about your communication style and be open to their insights.

5. Invest in Training

Just like any other skill, communication can be improved through learning and practice. Consider attending workshops, reading books, or working with a coach to refine your abilities.

The Ripple Effect of Better Communication

When you choose to improve your communication, the benefits extend far beyond yourself. You create a ripple effect that impacts everyone around you. Leaders who communicate well inspire their teams, build stronger client relationships, and foster healthier workplace cultures. At home, better communication can strengthen bonds with loved ones and create a more supportive environment.

For the 62-year-old leader at my training, his decision to change wasn’t just about his career. It was about repairing and enriching all the relationships in his life—personal and professional.

It’s Never Too Late to Start

Whether you’re 25 or 62, it’s never too late to grow. Improvement starts with a single decision to invest in yourself and your relationships. The journey may not be easy, but the rewards are worth it.

So, let me ask you: What’s holding you back? What could you gain by becoming a better communicator? And what might you lose if you don’t?

Change is possible. Growth is within reach. And the first step is choosing to believe that you don’t have to stay the same. Just like the leader I met, you can make the decision today to communicate better, listen more, and build the trust and connection that lead to success.

Are you ready to take that step?

By Jason Raitz - CEO, Speak with People  With over 25 years of experience, Jason has spoken from stages across the country, inspiring and motivating his audiences with stories, laughter, and practical tools to succeed. Book Jason for your next conference or workshop.