Yes You, You can Change

Stop Saying "I've Always Done It This Way. Why Would I Change Now?"

If you’re serious about growing your influence as a leader, it’s time to challenge the status quo – especially when it comes to how you communicate.

I can’t tell you how often I hear leaders say, "I've always done it this way. Why would I change now?" It’s almost like a badge of honor, as if consistency in communication – no matter how ineffective – is a virtue. And honestly, I get it. Change feels uncomfortable. Breaking long-standing habits takes effort. But here’s the thing: Your ability to lead and influence hinges on your willingness to grow and adapt.

Let’s dive into why that phrase might be holding you back and how you can begin to shift your mindset (and your communication) to unlock greater influence and connection.

The Comfort Zone Trap

Humans are creatures of habit. We naturally gravitate toward routines and predictable patterns – it’s how we create a sense of control and safety in our day-to-day lives. Leaders are no different. We find a communication style that feels comfortable, and we stick to it, whether we’re speaking one-on-one, leading a team meeting, or presenting on stage.

But here’s the reality: Comfort can quietly erode your influence.

When you operate on autopilot, you miss opportunities to connect deeply. You might not notice the subtle ways your communication habits affect your team – the glazed-over eyes during meetings, the hesitation to share feedback, or the disengaged body language of your audience.

Staying in the comfort zone might feel safe, but true leadership happens outside of it.

Why Communication Matters More Than Ever

In today’s fast-paced world, communication is everything. It builds trust, shapes culture, and fuels collaboration. Leaders who master communication create environments where people feel heard, valued, and motivated. Those who don’t? They risk alienating their teams, missing out on innovation, and limiting their own potential.

Your communication style directly impacts how others perceive your leadership. If you consistently interrupt, zone out, or dominate conversations, it sends signals – intentional or not – that can damage relationships and undermine your credibility.

The good news? You can change.

Identify the Communication Rut

The first step to improving your communication is recognizing the patterns that no longer serve you. Start by asking yourself:

• Where do I feel stuck in my communication?
• What feedback have I received (or avoided) about how I communicate?
• Are there moments where I feel disconnected from my team during conversations or presentations?

Chances are, you already know what needs to change. Maybe it’s interrupting others, zoning out during meetings, crossing your arms (a subtle sign of defensiveness), or speaking in a way that feels dismissive or passive-aggressive.

Write down one or two areas you feel need attention. Be honest with yourself. Self-awareness is the first step toward growth.

Small Changes, Big Impact

Improving your communication doesn’t mean overhauling your entire style overnight. Small, intentional changes can lead to significant growth over time.

Here are a few practical areas to focus on:

1. Interrupting
• Practice active listening. Let people finish their thoughts before responding. Pause for a beat after they speak to ensure you’re not cutting them off.
2. Zoning Out
• Be fully present. Put down your phone, close your laptop, and give your full attention during meetings or conversations.
3. Body Language
• Uncross your arms, lean in slightly, and maintain eye contact. Your non-verbal cues say just as much as your words.
4. Tone and Delivery
• Pay attention to how you say things. A supportive, encouraging tone fosters openness, while a harsh or dismissive tone can shut down dialogue.
5. Clarity and Brevity
• Keep your messages clear and concise. Avoid rambling. Make your point, and allow space for questions or discussion.

The Ripple Effect of Better Communication

When you prioritize improving your communication, the effects ripple throughout your organization. Teams become more engaged, trust deepens, and collaboration thrives. People feel valued and understood, which boosts morale and productivity.

But the benefits don’t stop there. As your communication improves, so does your influence. You’ll find it easier to inspire others, rally your team around a vision, and lead with confidence.

Make It Actionable

Here’s your challenge:

This week, choose one communication habit to improve.

Start small. If you catch yourself interrupting, pause and refocus on listening. If you zone out during conversations, consciously remind yourself to engage. Each time you make an effort, you’re reinforcing a new habit.

By the end of the week, reflect:

• What felt different?
• How did your team respond?
• Where did you notice growth?

Remember, communication is a skill that requires ongoing attention. Celebrate small wins and continue refining your approach.

Final Thoughts

The phrase "I've always done it this way" might feel like a shield, but in reality, it’s a barrier to growth. The best leaders are those who recognize when it’s time to pivot, adapt, and elevate their skills.

Your influence grows as you step out of the comfort zone and embrace the challenge of becoming a better communicator.

So, as you move forward, ask yourself:
What’s one thing I can do today to improve the way I connect with others?

Your leadership – and your influence – depends on it.

By Jason Raitz - CEO, Speak with People  With over 25 years of experience, Jason has spoken from stages across the country, inspiring and motivating his audiences with stories, laughter, and practical tools to succeed. Book Jason for your next conference or workshop.